250 SelfWork: Where Does Willpower Come From?

This is the 250th episode of SelfWork. And frankly, I’m amazed. So, that made me wonder… where does willpower come from? Can you learn to have more willpower? What makes something worth sacrificing for? What can cause you to forego immediate gratification...

Five Strategies to Deal With Empty Nest

As a therapist, I try to focus not just on concepts, but also on tangible actions to help you make concrete changes in your life, no matter what issues you’re facing; we discuss what you can do about it. The same things goes for facing empty nest. Fortunately,...

249 SelfWork: How To Calm Your Mind or What Would Mister Rogers Say?

Today we’re focused on how on the power of words can calm or basically how to self-soothe. I stopped to think about “soothers” with words in our culture, such as Mister Rogers, Aibileen Clark from the movie The Help, and even more recently and comically, Ted Lasso....

Anger. Is It Respected, Avoided, or Abusive In Your Life?

Anger. There’s a lot of it out there. My office is on a narrow one-way street that isn’t well marked as such. A while back there was a big cement truck traveling the wrong way; it pulled over to let me by and I gestured, smiling, that this was a one-way street....

244 SelfWork: Why We Lie (Even In Therapy)

Today we’re going to focus on why we lie to each other, to ourselves and even in therapy. We’ll touch on severe manipulative lying, called pathological lying, and compulsive lying, but most of the episode we’ll discuss plain old lying. I found two...

242 SelfWork: The Over-Apologizer: Are You One?

Do you or someone you know apologize all the time? This can stem from several dynamics – if you’re in an abusive relationship currently or there was trauma in your childhood where you’ve grown up believing that the fault when relationships or events go sour is somehow...