1. My mother used sexual abuse as a form of reward and to quiet me when I would get upset. She often did things that felt great. I didn’t have a clue that it was wrong. I acted out with another child and got caught when I was six. I remember feeling so confused by her mother’s horror. This abuse continued until I was in my twenties. I truly did not know that what was occurring between us was wrong. I have been through three decades of psychotherapy, and still I feel shame. I still have fantasies during sexual encounters where I am with my mom. It’s very confusing and saddening. I have read the courage to heal, and other stuff. Perhaps I will include a section in the book I am currently writing about the sexual abuse done to daughters by their mothers. It is something that is never talked about but should be. Not only that, the arousal that happens, that it is natural and not our fault. Thank you for your article.

    1. I’m so touched that you’ve chosen to tell your story. What tremendous courage you’re showing. Abuse by females can definitely happen, either directly or by ignoring what’s going on, giving passive consent. I hope your book will help you do more healing as you write. Thank you.

  2. I’m so glad you shared this. The shame of the pleasure is one of the very few things I’ve been unable to share. I suppose four people know my “whole” story, but no one knows this part. I don’t know who among that limited group could ever understand that element.

    1. It is very difficult to reveal and work through, and the fear of the potential reactions of others can keep someone from telling their story. I hope that this article helps people understand the complexity of what can happen. Thank you for your own courage Linda.

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