Welcome to 2020 and more SelfWork!

First, thank you to everyone who’s purchased Perfectly Hidden Depression and left reviews. Those show up on Amazon as a verified purchase and are extremely important, offering even more validity. So if you’ve been reading PHD, and when you’re done, two sentences on what you experienced would be extremely gratifying.

Today we’re talking about the lack of sexual intimacy that so many couples are experiencing; in fact, research shows that 15 to 20% of committed relationships or marriages have become rarely if ever sexual. We’ll touch on ten of the most common reasons I’ve seen; some are probably familiar, some may be painful to hear, but some may surprise you. And, of course, what you can do about it.

The listener email today is from a man who’s befriended someone with chronic abuse in her past (with a diagnosis of C-PTSD) and asked me for advice on how he can help.

Important links:

In the US, the sexual abuse hotline number for the US

Dr. Pat Love’s Hot Monogamy

Research study on pornography addiction

HuffPost article on the sexless marriage

Something not discussed in this podcast but brought to my attention the following week: The role of being asexual. For more info: click here.

You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Photo by Min An from Pexels







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