What It Takes To Be Real: This Is “My” Brave
This is a story about being brave in a different way – by letting others more fully into my own mental struggles. To actually be the real me. And it involves letting others see me cry. I’ve cried when I’ve felt loss or grief, or when others I care about have experienced loss....
Emotional Paralysis or When You Fear Change For The Better: SelfWork #157
Depression, anxiety, and emotional paralysis can go hand in hand. But today we’re talking today about fear – plain old unadulterated fear. But not fear about uncomfortable or destructive things. We’re talking about fear of positive change the keeps you stuck in behaviors that are a...
Gratitude and Grief: For My Brother Adam
This week I’m getting ready to prepare Thanksgiving dinner. And I love Thanksgiving. I didn’t have much to do with creating or cooking many of my childhood feasts, except trying to perfectly fold the napkins, a chore assigned to me by my fairly exacting mother. Or bring my heavily...
When You’re Not Believed: The Aftermath of Sexual Abuse SelfWork #156
If you’ve been sexually abused in any way, it changes the way you live your life. You can heal but it takes work and courage. But what if you’re abused, you report or tell someone about it and you’re not believed? This aftermath of abuse — this total negation of what...
The Shoulds, The Musts, And The Have-Tos Aren’t Invited For The Holidays
It’s already starting. “I have to get my house decorated before Aunt Rachel and Uncle Bob come for Thanksgiving.” “I’m not done shopping and I ought to be. I don’t know where the time has gone.” “I’d love to spend Christmas away from home just...
Three Vital Reasons To Say “I’m Sorry”: A Simple Way to Improve Your Marriage
“Love means you never have to say you’re sorry.” Those words were emblazoned on a poster that hung in my room in my high school years. Ali McGraw and Ryan O-Neal, stars of the hit movie “Love Story,” were blissfully gazing into a future of no conditions or...
What Gets In The Way of Good Listening SelfWork #155
This week I had an interview with Dr. Rami Wehbi who’s host of the podcast Beyond Medicine and a fabulous listener. That particular experience led me to talk about what gets in the way of good listening. I chose three dynamics of the numerous ones that are out there: making assumptions,...
Making Motivation Happen: SelfWork #154
Depression can steal your sense of vitality. Your “get up and go” or your motivation to reach goals that mean something to you can disappear. It’s called anhedonia — basically the lack of pleasure in (or motivation for) activities that used to mean something to you or to...
Perfectly Hidden Depression: How To Take Off The Mask Of Perfectionism
Perfectionism with an inner constant critic. Over-responsibility. Discounting painful emotion or past trauma. Chastising yourself if you’re not counting your blessings. Always being there for others, but sharing very little of who you really are, or what problems you might have. Do these...
When The “The Worst Thing” That Can Happen… Happens (When You Tell Your Truth)
I was on a first date with Jeff years ago. He was nice. I knew people that he knew and vice versa.v He’d earned his Ph.D. in psychology, having graduated from the same program that I was currently slugging my way through. The usual get-to-know-you questions were tossed around. “Where did you grow...
Dr. Margaret’s Book Now Available!
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