When Mom Is Emotionally Unstable. Seven Ways To Heal.
Mom. For many this word brings with it childhood memories of feeling safe while being tenderly tucked into bed, of band-aids and hugs when you scraped your knee, or of wise advice given when you fell in love for the first time. You watched your mom and learned from her; she was committed to...
Depression and Anxiety Combined: Could It Be Bipolar II Disorder? SelfWork #149
Depression and anxiety turn up in several mental illnesses. Yet when there’s a definite mood cycle — when one energy level of mood becomes apparent, either a too up or too down, and then another eventually takes it place — this can earn the diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder if...
Love, Boundaries and Manipulation: When Love Is Conditional SelfWork #148
We’re talking about love today on SelfWork. Unconditional love often gets the thumbs up as the best or most selfless kind of love to have. Parents certainly want to welcome their children into the world with unconditional love. But there can be a problem when, as an adult, you don’t...
When A Parent Needs Too Much: What Is Enmeshment and How Does It Hurt A Child
Being a parent is a complicated job. Healthy parenting includes doing your best to create a loving environment, supporting your kids so that their talents and interests thrive, and guiding them as they increasingly build their own life. All parents are going to make mistakes that impact...
Is It Self-Pity, Depression Or Perfectly Hidden Depression?
Nobody likes a whiner. Who might fit this bill? Let’s say you’re filled to the brim with self-pity or a sense the world is against you. You can’t get a break. Bad things seem to always happen to you. Promotions don’t come your way. Your kids never call enough or come by....
147 SelfWork:”I’m Better Off Being Alone”: Challenging Seven Beliefs That Lead to Depression and Loneliness
Depression is going to be our topic for a few weeks and today, we’re focusing on the cycle of beliefs that can keep you isolated from others — which can serve to fuel your depression. These are things you can convince yourself are true and will “always” be — and that...
146 SelfWork: Your Questions About Perfectly Hidden Depression
It’s been Suicide Awareness Week here in the US so I wanted to feature your questions about the well-researched but still largely unrecognized signal for potential suicide risk — what I term perfectly hidden depression. You have great questions. The first is from a writer who is losing...
What Can Signal A Risk For Suicide? When You’re Perfectly Hiding Depression
I’ve been writing for five years about what I term perfectly hidden depression — when you’re leading a perfect-looking life and not a soul recognizes that you’re carrying around a tremendous amount of silent despair. Maybe not even you recognize it, until you see the term...
145 SelfWork: Dealing With the Elephant In The Room: Defending Yourself with Denial, Distraction and Other Defenses
Everyone knows when there’s an elephant in the room. It’s an event, fact or feeling– past or present — that can’t, for some mysterious reason (or not so mysterious) be acknowledged. It seems impossible or too risky or too painful to talk about. So you walk around it....
Guilt and The Borderline Mother (Or Wife or Daughter or Friend): Nine Ways to Work Through It
Your phone rings. Her name appears on your screen. You dread clicking over. And then comes the guilt. Your history with her rushes into your mind as you wait for one more ring — all the times that you’ve rushed to her side, comforted her, and told her you’d be there for her,...
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