“I’m Doing My Best…” As A Parent, Are You In Denial?
What parent doesn’t have some form of regret? It goes along with the territory. Parenting is just plain tough. Looking back and remembering what you did, said, ignored, thought, blurted out, screamed — and wishing that you’d handled it better — is part of parenting that...
124 SelfWork: Learning from the Voices of Childhood Neglect
Childhood neglect can be much more confusing to work through. It’s abuse all right. But its message was just as harsh as physical beatings or harsh punishment. What is that message? That you weren’t worth feeding, or being educated. Whatever physical or emotional pain you had...
A Little Gratitude Feeds A Marriage: Three Steps to Take If You Feel Taken for Granted.
Being taken for granted is lonely and it’s very easy to become resentful. And it happens a lot when you’ve been together for a long time, married or not. If you do a task well, you’re usually the one whose primary responsibility it becomes to complete that chore. It just makes...
123 SelfWork: Are You Afraid of Losing Your Edge? Challenging Perfectionism in the Workplace
I’ve had the pleasure of working with several people who’ve come to me due to my writing about perfectionism and perfectly hidden depression. So we’re going to be talking about the fear of losing your edge – the edge that you believe keeps you on your toes, keeps you doing better, doing more,...
Anger. Is It Respected, Avoided, or Abusive In Your Life?
Anger. There’s a lot of it out there. My office is on a narrow one-way street that isn’t well marked as such. The other day there was a big cement truck traveling the wrong way; it pulled over to let me by and I gestured, smiling, that this was a one-way street. The guy screamed,...
122 SelfWork: What’s Love Got to Do With It: Love Addiction and Narcissism
What’s love addiction? Some people use the term to describe someone who’s constantly seeking relationships. But today we’re talking about how you can be addicted to the drama of a relationship – addicted to breaking up and getting back together – addicted to the very edginess and...
How To Deal With The Fear Of Judgment: The Gifts of Vulnerability
When I first moved back to Arkansas, there were facts about my life I didn’t want others to know. I’d grown up in a small town in southern Arkansas, where everybody knew everything about everybody. And I wasn’t relishing moving from Dallas, where there was a certain amount of...
121 SelfWork: Recovering from Trauma and How to Recreate a Sense of Safety
Trauma. Sometimes even hearing that word can make all of us cringe. Trauma is the emotional response to an event or experience occurring that was tragic and life-altering, such as a tornado, war, or a rape. You are said to be “traumatized.” We all have unique responses to it. And ways...
120 SelfWork: The Role of Disappointment in Relationships: How Much Is Too Much?
Disappointment is hard to hear, and sometimes hard to reveal, but it’s also inevitable in a relationship. Whether it’s a one-time event or there’s a pattern that’s been established, there’s a way to work them out. But it takes emotional maturity and realizing that each time you work...
The Gifts Of Vulnerability
Vulnerability is a gift.
Being vulnerable isn’t the same as being scared or admitting defeat. In fact, knowing and accepting it is actually a strength. Why? Because you can get really good at recognizing when those pesky, at times painful vulnerabilities are in action, and how they’re skewing your thinking or your choices.
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