Nine Paths That Lead To Perfectly Hidden Depression
How do you learn to hide pain?
What is it about hurt, vulnerability and sadness that makes many of us form a persona of happiness and busy-ness that shields us from the eyes of others? Why do we push ourselves to build a life that looks perfect from the outside, but can feel empty and despairing on the inside?
137 SelfWork: Let’s Talk Medications – From a Psychologist’s Point of View
Medications. You are bombarded with advertisements for them everywhere. And meds for mental health are no exception. In today’s show, I’m offering my clinical perspective as a psychologist (as well as expert advice from Dr. Michael Yapko) after watching thousands of people over the...
How Do Couples Talk Themselves Out Of Therapy? Three Common Misconceptions That Mask Vulnerability
I do a lot of couples therapy. And there are nine words that are music to my ears. “We came in before there was a real problem.” This very wise couple hasn’t waited until a crisis has hit; no one is flirting with a coworker, no vicious and repetitive arguments are heard late at...
136 SelfWork: When the Going Gets Tough.. Self-Composure vs. Stoicism
Do you live by the rule, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going?’ In this podcast, I offer another way of approaching life when it gets tough — an approach that honors both the need to forge ahead when things get hard, but one that won’t lead to emotional and even...
Perfectly Hidden Depression And The Power of Loneliness
The famous shower scene in Psycho can leave any of us feeling a bit dubious into stepping in. But when you’re lonely — when you’re hiding pain from the world, sometimes the shower is the only place where what you’re keeping secret is allowed to emerge. And you’re...
135 SelfWork: Your Questions My Answers (and a big announcement…)
Your emails are coming in fast and furious so I decided today that I would answer some of those questions with everyone and we can continue to learn from one another. The subjects range from trauma to ending a relationship to having trouble letting go of regrets and shame to perfectly hidden...
How Do You Heal From Parents Who Hurt You
My dad was very open with his love. One of his favorite things to say when I’d made a mess of things was, “You can always come home.” He’d send me a hand-written letter when things were tough, often quoting scripture, but always with a supportive, guiding message that reminded me of what was really important in life. And I knew how his eyes would light up when he saw me, especially when I no longer lived in the same city as him and my mom. I’m sure my brothers saw that same light.
134 SelfWork: Making A Distrustful Mess with Money and Marriage
Money and the distrust that can be created because of it in a partnership or marriage is what’s on the agenda for today. It’s amazing how many people commit to one another and never touch the subject. We’ll talk about the business of relationships and common problems people run into when...
Talking With Dad
When I was in my early twenties, I called my Dad and asked him to have lunch with me. “Don’t you want your Mom to come?” “Well, Dad, no…this time I want it to be just you and me.” “Okay. Sure. Where do you want to meet?” Up to that point, when I...
133 SelfWork: “I Have Body Image Issues.” The Damage of Eating Disorders and Seven Things You Can Do
Today we’re talking about psychological disorders that have to do with you, food, and exercise that have the power to damage your child’s body image and self-esteem as well — no matter how you try to keep it out of their life. Both moms and dads can have struggles that not only damage...
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