Perfectly Hidden Depression: Five Steps To Take Off the Camouflage of Perfectionism
Do any of these ring familiar to you: perfectionism with an inner constant critic, over-responsibility, inability or great difficulty with expressing emotional vulnerability, chastising yourself if...
Nine Paths That Lead To Perfectly Hidden Depression
How do you learn to hide pain?
What is it about hurt, vulnerability and sadness that makes many of us form a persona of happiness and busy-ness that shields us from the eyes of others? Why do we push ourselves to build a life that looks perfect from the outside, but can feel empty and despairing on the inside?

When the Joy in Your Holidays Is Overshadowed by Your Need to be Perfect
Perfectly hidden depression. What is it? It’s depression that’s deeply disguised by a facade of perfectionism. Perhaps you feel something in your gut; there’s a sense that...
Facing The Fear of Telling Your Truth and Being Demeaned
Let me take you back in time. I was on a first date with a guy named Jeff. I’d vetted him prior to our date, checked with people that I knew that he knew, etc. By all reports, he was nice,...
What Can Signal A Risk For Suicide? When You’re Perfectly Hiding Depression
I’ve written a book about what I term perfectly hidden depression. It describes the phenomenon of leading a perfect-looking life on the outside, while carrying around a tremendous amount of...
Is It Self-Pity, Depression Or Perfectly Hidden Depression?
It’s difficult to be around someone whose always whining. What does whining sound like? “I can’t get a break.” “Bad things seem to always happen to me.”...
245 SelfWork: “How Could I Not Have Known?” The Shock of Sudden Suicide
Sometimes I receive an email that tears at my heartstrings. And this week was one of those times. I’ll read you the email – the heads up is that it’s about a sudden and totally unexpected suicide...
Five Steps to Overcome The Fear of Giving Up Perfectionism
The steps in this post are the basis for the treatment for the kind of depression I discuss in my book, Perfectly Hidden Depression – which at its most severe, can become deadly – as the...
152 SelfWork (Second Time Around): Six Exercises to Build Resolve for Change
As I wrote the book Perfectly Hidden Depression, I included over sixty specific exercises that would make reading it more of an emotional challenge, rather than one more chance to analyze. There are...
183 SelfWork Second Time Around: Clearing Up Confusion About Perfectly Hidden Depression
During the last week of June 2021 and first full week of July, we’re taking a bit of vacation – my awesome engineer has a fabulous move to make – and I’m getting ready to teach my first course on...