What Is “Self-Compassion?” How To Learn To Connect With Your Own Pain
Sometimes painful emotions feel like they may kill you.
Perhaps J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame said it best.
“I DON’T CARE!” Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!”

173 SelfWork: What’s New with Perfectly Hidden Depression?
Just because I’ve written a book about perfectly hidden depression (PHD) doesn’t mean that I’m through with learning about it. With each person that I’ve heard from, or has joined my practice...
Three Hurdles in the Fight With the Black Dog of Depression
During this challenging time, I share this post again in the hope of helping those of you already suffering from depression, for whom that depression might be worsened by anxiety and isolation, and...
What’s The Difference Between Self-Centeredness, Selfishness and Self-Awareness?
Do you believe, “If I ask for something I want, I’m being selfish?” Or does it make sense to you that there’s a huge difference between being selfish, self-centered and self-aware?...
167 SelfWork: Is It OCD, GAD, Bipolar, BPD or Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD)?
There are certain diagnoses that may be co-occurring with perfectly hidden depression (PHD) or could be confused with PHD. And the last thing I want is for anyone to label themselves PHD or identify...
Perfectly Hidden Depression And The Power of Loneliness
The famous shower scene in Psycho can leave any of us feeling a bit dubious into stepping in. But when you’re lonely — when you’re hiding pain from the world, sometimes the shower...
Perfectly Hidden Depression: How To Take Off The Mask Of Perfectionism
Perfectionism with an inner constant critic. Over-responsibility. Discounting painful emotion or past trauma. Chastising yourself if you’re not counting your blessings. Always being there for...
When The “The Worst Thing” That Can Happen… Happens (When You Tell Your Truth)
I was on a first date with Jeff years ago. He was nice. I knew people that he knew and vice versa.v He’d earned his Ph.D. in psychology, having graduated from the same program that I was currently...
Six Ways to Overcome The Fear of Giving Up Perfectionism
If you’re a perfectionist, you can feel increasingly burdened by the ever-higher expectations that others develop for you. The teenage quarterback who has led his team to three state...
The Ten Characteristics of Perfectly Hidden Depression
I’ve been writing for three years now about a syndrome called Perfectly Hidden Depression.
These are people who are inwardly struggling with depression, at times severe depression. But others would never guess that they were. They can act both intentionally, but also unconsciously, to deny and avoid pain or suffering. And they do it quite well. In fact, perfectly.
