I get a treat this year.
I get to spend Mother’s Day with my son.
I haven’t laid eyes on him since Christmas break. That’s the longest period of time in his almost 20 years that has happened.
Boy, have I missed him.
He gave me this bracelet the first Christmas after he had left for college. Definitely a step up from the treasured HUGE BRIGHT turquoise and lime green bowl he lovingly created “just for me” in the 3rd grade.
The bracelet has “Mother” engraved all around it, in 44 various languages.
I wear it every day.
It’s a connection between him and me. A remembrance of our relationship. It helps with that whole empty nest thing.
I think he knew it would.
My own mother is no longer living or I would give her a bracelet.
I firmly believe that mothers, on Mother’s Day, should do what they dern well please. It’s a Hallmark holiday but let’s take advantage of it. We should celebrate our mother-ness in some unique way that comforts and relieves us. Gives us that inner smile. At least as far as pragmatically possible.
I could not, for example, fly to Paris. I have patients on Monday morning.
BUT maybe I could try to learn how to make a crepe! Or have a glass of French wine! And I could ask that dear son of mine to do it with me.
Maybe not the wine part. Definitely the crepe part.
Empty nest is only as empty as you allow it be. If on this Mother’s Day, I create a memory with my son that I can cherish, that holds importance or meaning for me, then waving him off to his new summer job will be easier.
Yes, I will miss him. Heck, I started a whole website dedicated to writing about missing him.
But time has moved on. So I will fill the moments I do have with gratitude.
This Mother’s Day? I don’t need another gift. What I want is to spend time hanging out. With my family. Talking. Laughing. Soaking all that up.
If I know my 2 guys, some of that day will be spent on the golf course. I love that actually.
Then we will make crepes.
You have a whole week to think about it. To plan.
Something with your own mother or grandmother. With your children.
Or by yourself.
Whatever will nourish your caregiving soul.
And by the way…if you are flying to Paris, you know where to reach me.
There are many people in Arkansas and the South who are suffering because of the recent tornadoes. Please be thinking of them during the next few weeks. Their Mother’s Day will be spent cleaning up the wreckage of their homes. Or mourning tragic losses. Give if you can. The American Red Cross website is on my Facebook page or you can purchase Walmart gift cards that are being donated locally at this link. Thank you.
You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!