How to Stop Feeding Your Insecurity
We say things like this all the time… to other people. “You’ve got it all together.” “I could never handle all the things that you do – and you don’t even seem to think about it. You just do it.” That’s called projection in psychology....
Simple Acts of Kindness Are Never Forgotten And Deeply Matter. My Story…
I originally wrote this in July of 2016 in the wake of natural disasters, shootings, and tragedies overseas. I’m offering it again to you today; sadly, it is as timely as ever. I’ve also included one detail that I’ve never shared before; it felt too deeply personal. Yet it’s also...
The Seven Gifts Of A Long “Healthy Enough” Marriage
Marriage Is Not For Chickens… A few years ago, I wrote a post about what marriage is- and what it isn’t. It went wildly viral on The Huffington Post and ultimately became a beautiful little gift book. Since then, I’ve given even more thought to how a healthy (or healthy enough)...
Five Things To Do When Someone Needs You Too Much
“I don’t know how I would make it if I didn’t have you to talk to.” “Sometimes I just want to it to be over. But I know I have you, and that keeps me from doing anything.” “If I lost you, I’d be nothing.” Words like these should send a shiver up your spine. If they...
267 SelfWork: Am I Expecting Too Much? Being Demanding? Or Am I Setting A Boundary?
Today we’re going to talk about the fairly sticky subject of the difference between expectations, demand, and setting boundaries. What do you do when you feel disappointed by others? Do you isolate or judge? Do you get mad or sulk? Could it be that your very expectations are the problem? Is...
Knowing What You Know Today – Would You Still Marry Your Partner?
One of the seeming discoveries from this pandemic has been increased clarity about the state of your primary relationship. The two of you have had to face loss, ambiguity, fear, financial strain, difficult parenting decisions, all while spending much more time together than perhaps ever before....
How To Tell If You’re In Denial As A Parent
What parent doesn’t have some form of regret? It goes along with the territory. Parenting is just plain tough. How often have you looked back at times you fell short? Times that you did, said, ignored, thought, blurted out, even screamed things you wish you could take back? Perhaps you...
Reaching Peace Within Yourself: What I Learned From My Dad About Compromise
“Margaret, life is about compromise.”
That’s what my dad used to tell me from time to time.
Considering the massive amount of wisdom I’d accrued by the age I first heard him say this, probably around 20 or 21, I remember feeling that my father’s early health problems had colored his thinking. I silently shook my head, and believed he was focusing on the negative — on what you gave up in life. I was sure that with enough effort, and maybe a little good luck thrown in, you could achieve exactly what you wanted.

261 SelfWork: Keeping On Keeping On: A Conversation with Author and Widow Leslie Streeter
As a therapist, I’ve been honored by many to try to help them work through their grief. And it can be raw, cutting off someone’s ability to breathe deeply or feel like they’re even breathing at all. Or want to. But when I met met Leslie Streeter, I knew I had to have her on SelfWork. Her story,...
Five Common Misconceptions That Keep Couples From Seeking Therapy
I do a lot of couples therapy and there are nine words that are music to my ears. “We came in before there was a real problem.” This very wise couple hasn’t waited until a crisis has hit; no one is flirting with a coworker, no vicious and repetitive arguments are heard late at...
