“I’m Doing My Best…” As A Parent, Are You In Denial?
What parent doesn’t have some form of regret? It goes along with the territory. Parenting is just plain tough. Looking back and remembering what you did, said, ignored, thought, blurted out, screamed — and wishing that you’d handled it better — is part of parenting that...
A Little Gratitude Feeds A Marriage: Three Steps to Take If You Feel Taken for Granted.
Being taken for granted is lonely and it’s very easy to become resentful. And it happens a lot when you’ve been together for a long time, married or not. If you do a task well, you’re usually the one whose primary responsibility it becomes to complete that chore. It just makes...
Anger. Is It Respected, Avoided, or Abusive In Your Life?
Anger. There’s a lot of it out there. My office is on a narrow one-way street that isn’t well marked as such. The other day there was a big cement truck traveling the wrong way; it pulled over to let me by and I gestured, smiling, that this was a one-way street. The guy screamed,...
When A Parent Needs Too Much: What Is Enmeshment and How Does It Hurt A Child
Being a parent is a complicated job. Healthy parenting includes doing your best to create a loving environment, supporting your kids so that their talents and interests help you guide them to build their own life. Parents are still going to make mistakes that impact our kids. The parent who does...
Four Ways To Get Emotional Closure In A Relationship — By Yourself
I’ve been divorced twice. And there was no emotional closure either time. Neither parting was easy. There was a lot of hurt on both sides, and I shared in the responsibility of the failure of both marriages. I felt tremendous shame. Later, I hoped for some kind of closure. Both of those men...
How To Understand When You Love Someone With Recurrent Depression
Patricia brought her husband, Dan, into therapy a couple of years ago, ”Can you try to help him understand what it feels like to have depression? He thinks I could stop the cycle if I was more positive, or exercised more.” Patricia worked at a huge church, where she helped run their...
What Pushes Your Buttons? How To Manage Your Insecurity
During my years in elementary school and well into junior high, while the other kids were in gym class or at lunch, I had to go home. I had a neurological problem that made it dangerous for me to be too physically active or get too hot, and so my mom picked me up in the middle of the day to rest....
4 Ways To Create Kindness With Your Partner – Before Your Words Lead To Divorce.
Your reality is created with your words. “I can’t take much more of this.” “I can’t believe I ever married you.” “I’ve had it with you.” These words may be said in jest, or in a heated moment, or perhaps they’re repeated in exasperation....
Why Women And Men Who Are Being Abused Don’t Leave. An Exercise for Understanding.
How did a jingle singer become a therapist? It took me years. I began by volunteering at the Battered Women’s Shelter in Dallas. I was singing jazz at the Fairmont Hotel bar; my night would end at 1:00 in the morning, and the shelter needed someone for the 2:00 – 6:00 am crisis intervention line...
Three Vital Reasons To Say “I’m Sorry” In Your Marriage
“Love means you never have to say you’re sorry.” Those words were emblazoned on a poster of Ali McGraw and Ryan O-Neal, the tragic lovers from the 1970 hit “Love Story,” which my sixteen year-old self had absorbed with teenage belief. I couldn’t wait to get into...
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