How Do Couples Talk Themselves Out Of Therapy? Three Common Misconceptions That Mask Vulnerability
I do a lot of couples therapy. And there are nine words that are music to my ears. “We came in before there was a real problem.” This very wise couple hasn’t waited until a crisis has hit; no one is flirting with a coworker, no vicious and repetitive arguments are heard late at...
How Do You Heal From Parents Who Hurt You
My dad was very open with his love. One of his favorite things to say when I’d made a mess of things was, “You can always come home.” He’d send me a hand-written letter when things were tough, often quoting scripture, but always with a supportive, guiding message that reminded me of what was really important in life. And I knew how his eyes would light up when he saw me, especially when I no longer lived in the same city as him and my mom. I’m sure my brothers saw that same light.
Talking With Dad
When I was in my early twenties, I called my Dad and asked him to have lunch with me. “Don’t you want your Mom to come?” “Well, Dad, no…this time I want it to be just you and me.” “Okay. Sure. Where do you want to meet?” Up to that point, when I...
How To Not Be Victimized By Empty Nest. Letting Go With Intention.
My son is traveling at breakneck speed through the last semester of his college days.
Graduation is two weeks away.
He’s making decisions about his future — carving out a life for himself that will hopefully prove productive and fulfilling.
131 SelfWork: When Your Dad Isn’t A Dad. The Effects of Father Hunger
Father hunger… when your dad isn’t or wasn’t available or connected with you either due to divorce, death or disinterest — causes many problems for a child and the family as a whole. But the numbers are staggering of how many homes are without dads. There are so many...
Are You Addicted To Your Ex? To Love? Or Are You Still Grieving?
I never considered getting back with either of my ex’s. Not that they were chomping at the bit to be with me again, either. There was far too much water under the bridge. Yet saying good-bye to love, or what you defined as love, can be a lot more difficult than you think. Let’s look...
“I’m Doing My Best…” As A Parent, Are You In Denial?
What parent doesn’t have some form of regret? It goes along with the territory. Parenting is just plain tough. Looking back and remembering what you did, said, ignored, thought, blurted out, screamed — and wishing that you’d handled it better — is part of parenting that...
A Little Gratitude Feeds A Marriage: Three Steps to Take If You Feel Taken for Granted.
Being taken for granted is lonely and it’s very easy to become resentful. And it happens a lot when you’ve been together for a long time, married or not. If you do a task well, you’re usually the one whose primary responsibility it becomes to complete that chore. It just makes...
Anger. Is It Respected, Avoided, or Abusive In Your Life?
Anger. There’s a lot of it out there. My office is on a narrow one-way street that isn’t well marked as such. The other day there was a big cement truck traveling the wrong way; it pulled over to let me by and I gestured, smiling, that this was a one-way street. The guy screamed,...
When A Parent Needs Too Much: What Is Enmeshment and How Does It Hurt A Child
Being a parent is a complicated job. Healthy parenting includes doing your best to create a loving environment, supporting your kids so that their talents and interests help you guide them to build their own life. Parents are still going to make mistakes that impact our kids. The parent who does...
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