16 Comments

  1. Our own worst “empty nest” period was actually when our oldest child moved out of state with our oldest grandbaby.

    While our youngest was still at home at the time, we were young grandparents…and our granddaughter going so far away was heartwrenching, to the point where hubby asked if maybe we should have another baby. Luckily, I quickly came to my senses and found cheap airfare 🙂

    1. Thank you Nancy! I certainly am finding that the ache -my NestAche – that returns when my son comes and goes – is healing. I’m growing accustomed to this new way of being in relationship with him. And it is the way it should be. I so appreciate you reading and commenting!

  2. My kids are seniors this year, so I’m looking at being an empty nester soon. Our house is so full of kids right now and we’re so busy, I can’t imagine the change to come. It’s going to be hard!

    1. Suzanne relish this year! It’s going to be a great one! You might want to read a couple of my posts on preparing for empty nest. One of them is https://drmargaretrutherford.com/3-ways-to-prepare-for-an-empty-coop. Or you can just type in “empty nest’ in the “Can’t Find What You Want?” box on my webite and everything I have written on the topic (that might be a little overwhelming…) will appear. There are several other fantastic websites devoted to the subject. @GrownandFlown @CarpoolGoddess and @EmptyHouseFullMind are 3 of them. You will be fine. Just a little preparation is a good thing! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  3. Thank you for this BEAUTIFUL article Margaret. My youngest of three sons just turned twenty, and on my birthday no less, talk about the ultimate birthday gift, an angel from GOD, but then all of my sons are angels. And as he tries to figure out life and his future plans, I look at him and sometimes see my two-year-old whom was sickly sometimes but I would have to take to daycare everyday and hated leaving him there half the time because I had to work being that I was a single mother at the time, and because it felt like I was always missing a part of me. Going through my two oldest sons leaving home was hard enough, but I know my youngest leaving will hit me the hardest. I’ve already started to transition from being a stay-at-home mom by going back to college and am now seeking employment because I am one that needs to stay busy, plus I LOVE meeting new people and helping others when possible, but it still won’t be the same as having him home. Thank GOD for my loving and supportive Hubby who has been a BEAUTIFUL stepfather to all three of my sons since my youngest was 3 ears old… I consider him their full-fledged father in every sense of the word, and so do they. I always tell my sons to live as full a life as they can. My two oldest are married with children of their own and my youngest has a girlfriend with a good head on her shoulders, and not being able to spend time with them all as often as I’d like because of different schedules and living in different cities has been hard. But I love them very much and pray for their safety and HAPPYness every single day of their lives, and that is what comforts me and keeps me going!!<3

    1. There is much beauty in your own words Aida. I am glad to hear a little of your personal story – happy to know that you have had such a good partner and 3 kids with whom you are close. A parent’s love for their child just simply can’t be described very well. I was older when I became a mother. I remember calling a couple of good friends, who had had children for quite a while by then. I apologized to them. I had never asked enough questions about their children! I just didn’t know what it felt like – til I had experienced it myself. They were kind and laughed. Said they understood. Thank goodness for good friends. And I am honored by your comments. Good luck on your journey!

      1. AWWW, thank you Margaret for your kind words. I am honored to have been able to share my story through your platform. In my experience, some women I talk to cannot wait til their children are grown and out the door. But I guess each woman is different. And I feel that you should never have to apologize for asking questipns about motherhood at any age. No woman is born knowing how to care for their young until they experience it for themselves but I do understand your experience and admire you for it. 🙂

        1. You are on target there. There are those that don’t really have a lot of empty nest issues. There could be lots of reasons for that. Lots of fighting that is now over. Some helicoptering that just can’t happen anymore. Or the opposite. There is so much helicoptering and contact – even weekend after weekend of seeing their child – that the feelings never form. Or even that someone either doesn’t do painful feelings or they did a lot of anticipatory work. When it actually happened, they were prepared! Good for them! Lots of different stories. Lots of different answers.

          1. I so agree with your perspective of it Margaret and I love your positive attitude, have a blessed day. 🙂

  4. Beautifully written. My nest is very full right now, so it is hard to imagine the children being grown and gone, and I don’t think I want to. But, to everything there is a season, so I’m just trying to enjoy the season we’re in. I’ve found this first week of school days has passed very quickly as I try to dig through the pile of “summer rubble” on my desk and bring order back to life, but I know there will be days when the clock tick sound will sound like a taunt.

    1. What a great word. “Taunt”. I was wondering something similar when I wrote the piece Fawn. I think it’s hard to not become frightened by the passage of time when there are good times. Yet when you are hurting, it’s a relief to realize that “this too shall pass”. I guess we can’t have it only one way. Wonderful comment and thank you so much!

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