Christmas Plates And 11 Other Holiday Goodies That Won’t Happen At My House
I am always amazed when I am invited for a party or homemade meal during the holidays.
Out come beautiful Christmas plates.
We have a set. We inherited them from my in-laws when they moved out of their New Jersey home. 12 years ago.
I either forget. Or convince myself I don’t have room for them to be out. Or I can’t remember where they are. Or. Or. Or.
It makes me think of other things that I thoroughly enjoy, but just don’t happen at my house.
1) The gorgeously decorated tree is up for Thanksgiving. If ours makes it up 5 days before the big day, we are doing well.
2) Brightly wrapped presents appear under said tree. For weeks. What’s wrong with Christmas Eve, around 10:30?
3) Jingle bell cookies are freshly baked. Offered upon your arrival. I can delight you with red and silver Hershey’s kisses, but that’s about it.
4) Stockings are stuffed with goodies. In April, I usually discover at least one, if not more, stuffers that I hid in my sock drawer. And forgot.
5) Significant planning has occurred for delicious holiday dinners. I quickly read half of the recipe. So I have to send my husband out for some ingredient I either read wrong or – surprise, surprise – is vital to the dish and was found in the 2nd half. If he can’t go or it’s too late? I improvise. Risky at best.
6) Christmas carols are gayly sung at the piano. Ours hasn’t been tuned in years, so we must sing loudly.
7) Gifts have been purchased, little momentos or perhaps bottles of wine, to give to that someone who unexpectedly shows up with a present for you! If you’re not on my list, sorry my friend. It’s better to give than receive.
8) Presents for teachers, babysitters, and the newspaper delivery guy have been personally labeled. I have forgotten that we used all the labels last year. I end writing their name on the present with a sharpie.
9) The ritual of telling a Christmas story on Christmas Eve is honored every year. Maybe, when our son was little, we pulled that off a couple of years. Maybe…
10) Great forethought has been put into each and every gift. I do try to do this. But, the problem is my memory. Let’s just say I gave Vanderbilt golf club covers 2 years in a row. A year is a heck of a long time to remember such details.
My family and friends forgive such tendencies. I am blessed for that.
Am I going to try to change? I don’t think so.
It’s okay to keep the holidays simple.
Christmas happens every year. The love and appreciation I try to express the rest of the time will have to get me through.
Oh. There’s an 11.
11) Who said holiday greeting cards had to be received in the year of the holiday itself?
Everyone needs a little lift in January.
Have a merry holiday season.
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Top image courtesy Deborah Strauss.
Hilarious! I love #7! And #1. (Christmas china — is there anything more ridiculous?)
Thanks Mithra! Glad to know I am not the only one… 🙂
You must be my soul sister! I often joke that the only domestic thing about me is that I live indoors. As as far as sending out Christmas cards – I have a friend that every year loves to tell everybody and their dog about that one time I sent out my Christmas cards in February 20 some odd years ago! Thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone in this!
Hi Mary! The year my folks died, 2007, I sent out New Years/Valentines Day cards. Like you say, at least most years I send something out. I know my friends just can’t wait to have another picture of me and my family… Thanks for writing and “sisters” it is!
The whole time I’m reading this I am nodding my head! I am responsible for the Christmas gathering for my side of the family and I always have this beautiful picture in mind. Wonderful table settings, delicious food, great times. I’m lucky if I have enough forks, I usually burn something or there’s the time I forgot to turn the turkey on, and one brother has another in a headlock because…well because they are brothers and can’t stand each other for more than 10 minutes! Great times!!! Come on January.
I love YOUR list Margaret!
Thanks Nancy. Maybe Santa will read it and help me out this year!
Hilarious. I agree w Dr. Laura with this one thing. We all ought to be able to get along for at least two hours. Your brothers can’t last more than 15 minutes??? :). Maybe the raw turkey had something to do with it! Thanks so much!!
And have you ever noticed that when you do break down and buy 10 Christmas plates you end up having 20 people for dinner? It just never works out.
Definitely describes my world Shannon ! Except that I would also need bowls for that dinner. I don’t have Christmas bowls. Yikes. It just never ends.
This made me laugh out loud! As a young mother it all seemed so easy to recreate the holidays of my childhood. Little did I realize that my my time and energy were very different from my mother’s or that my husband’s family traditions would have to be considered and somehow integrated which meant some those traditions would change or at least morph into a tradition for my little family. As for Christmas cards, I usually just opt for “Happy New Year” cards if any go out at all.
So glad Janet! Yeah, that morphing of tradition is fun, isn’t it? I have become quite a stuffing advocate, rather than cornbread dressing. My parents would be horrified. Thanks for commenting!
Very funny! I do have a big platter with a turkey on it which comes out to be used on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Does that count? I usually send my annual dilatory New Year’s, MLK, and perhaps Valentine’s Day Letter (depending on the mailing ;^) when my cat does her kitty mind-meld and writes it for me. Oh, and I am probably the only woman you know who calls her daughter for advice on cooking. Cheers and courage because January will come!
I definitely think you get credit for the platter! And great that your daughter can cook. She got it from somewhere! Thanks for writing!
Ha ha I love this! I quit trying to have the perfect Christmas years ago and have never looked back. I never had any fancy Christmas plates, but I used to do pretty much everything else.
So glad you liked! And it gave you a smile. Merry Merry.
I first read this over @ the Huffington Post, and wow, what a difference in comments there were over there! Dang! Lighten up, folks! I mean, I suffer from debilitating depression, and this article made me laugh out loud! Yes, well, you’ll recognize my comments over at the Huff site by my snarky tone & odd profile photo. As I mentioned over there, you left out “Letting Pets Take Part In The Festivities,” which was always a disaster @ my house. Putting those fake antlers on our Lab turned him into an instant Pit Bull as he ripped ’em apart after about 15 seconds. And I’ve not been able to have a Christmas tree for about 10 years since acquiring my “tabby Mafia,” whom I lovingly call “da thugz.” Thanks for writing this much-needed comic relief, and have a Merry Christmas. Oh, and if you’d like a cat, I’m always willing to reduce inventory. Just let me know!
Thanks so much NH03052. I am so glad I made you laugh! I laugh at myself all the time. I am traveling at the moment and haven’t been back on HuffPo since early this afternoon so I haven’t seen your comment quite yet. But it sounds like I will appreciate it! I also hear about your depression and very much regret hearing that. I appreciate your comment more than you know. And good luck with that depression.