9 Comments

  1. I’ve had to do a lot of research on socio-pathology. My father, my first husband and my previous boss (and she was a she?? !!) were abusers, my ‘human’ way of reacting to bullying and condescension wasn’t working. I have made progress, but it doesn’t feel good when you have to use methods that aren’t in your behavioral make-up to ‘defend’ yourself and thwart further attempts by the manipulator/abuser.
    There were never any marks or bruises that anybody could see. My experience has been that the injuries people can’t see are the hardest to recover from and heal.
    It seems that narcissism/control issues/manipulation victimization therapies are on the rise, or we, as a society, are finally realizing that ‘mean people’ can and do exist and they are not just having a bad day.
    Great summary, Dr. Rutherford I’m sorry you had to endure your own abuse and learn those lessons first hand. I am glad you are able to turn it around and help others with it. One thing I have learned? Abusers hate it when you smile.

    1. Lisa thank you for sharing such a personal story. We are certainly seeing more focus on narcissism and it’s consequences, and it sounds like your marriage imitated your childhood. The pain was familiar so you may not have recognized it. I’m glad you do now — that takes a lot of work.

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