301 SelfWork: What Is Emotional Incest?

What’s emotional incest? (Please be aware that you could be triggered by this episode if abuse is in your past and I’ll share links to help lines.) It’s not the same as sexual incest – but can certainly cause its own type of damage. It falls within the dynamic of...

Five Reasons We Talk “At” Each Other And How To Listen

When couples walk in my door with their chief complaint being, “We can’t communicate,” one of the things I immediately wonder is whether either one is truly listening…or are they talking “at” each other? All too often instead of...

300 SelfWork: Do You Take the Time to Acknowledge Your Depression?

We can’t believe it! 300 episodes!!! And that’s due to your loyalty and your emails and your messages and your support and your reviews and…. well, you!   Thank you!!! I had a topic in mind for this three hundredth episode of SelfWork. But I realized that what was on...

Five Ways To Be Your Best Self During A Divorce

What’s a “good” divorce? I’ve heard it said that a good divorce is the one that never happens; of course that’s idealism, not realism. Obviously, many of us do get divorced for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the choice to divorce is...

299 SelfWork: Can I Tell You A Secret? And Can You Keep It?

I’ve had many people tell me over the years that they feel free to tell me things because they know I cannot tell anyone else. That’s true of course- unless I believe that there’s imminent danger of some kind to them or someone else. But I don’t think of my role...