17 Comments

  1. I think this is great advice. I do know, however, that times have changed and things are different now– my own parents would’ve looked at us like we we were nuts if we suggested they had to heal from empty nest. They were glad for the transition and so were we. That is less the case now than then. Just good advice.

    1. Oh I think our culture is much more child-centered than it was years ago. So when those activities are gone and either parent hasn’t developed their own life outside of that role, then…. oops. It happens with retirement from work as well. If you don’t plan for it – don’t start getting involved in other things before you actually do retire, it can hit you like a ton of bricks. To me it’s about handling change. It’s grieving, yes. But also change. Thanks Carol. You always make me think.

  2. I think this is great advice. I do know, however, that times have changed and things are different now– my own parents would’ve looked at us like we we were nuts if we suggested they had to heal from empty nest. They were glad for the transition and so were we. That is less the case now than then. Just good advice.

  3. I’ve been through empty nest and survived, I’m sharing this post with my friends who are currently struggling through it. At the time I went through it I converted my son’s room into a walk in closet dressing room area for my stuff, suddenly I was cured.. 😉

    1. This is just funny. I do wonder how your child managed when he was sleeping with all your shoes… guess he or he managed in another room :). I think your point is a good one. Changing things around – not keeping things “the same”, as if your are stuck in the past or have to memorialize that particular time period, is a good idea. That was a great time hopefully (but certainly not for everyone I might quickly add). Move on! Thanks for both the share and the comment. And enjoy that closet…

  4. I’ve been through empty nest and survived, I’m sharing this post with my friends who are currently struggling through it. At the time I went through it I converted my son’s room into a walk in closet dressing room area for my stuff, suddenly I was cured.. 😉

    1. This is just funny. I do wonder how your child managed when he was sleeping with all your shoes… guess he or he managed in another room :). I think your point is a good one. Changing things around – not keeping things “the same”, as if your are stuck in the past or have to memorialize that particular time period, is a good idea. That was a great time hopefully (but certainly not for everyone I might quickly add). Move on! Thanks for both the share and the comment. And enjoy that closet…

  5. I’ve been strugglikng for the past two years to accept my children moved out and don’t need me around, struggling with not hearing from them for weeks on end, getting the odd facebook hello, Feeling so sad that my time with them has gone forever in the way that it was and struggling with the realisation that they are grown up. Having said that, I gave them the confidence to move out and be independant men, they know that i am there for them if they ever need me and I’m learning and accepting that i now have to get to know these new men that they are. Your comment about the tomatoes struck a chord with me when my son proudly invited me over for dinner (2 years after he moved out this was the first invitation) and it was at that moment I realised he was no longer my teenage son but a grown man with his own life – AND HE LIKES VEGETABLES! Whilst the sadness is easing I’m embracing my new chapter in my life and forever hopeful that my sons will include more often in their lives as they get older.
    Thanks for the great post, advice and for helping me realise i’m not alone
    Janine

    1. You are so welcome Janine. I just talked with my son last night. It actually was a great talk. But he won’t be home til Thanksgiving. He is planning to take a group of younger kids in his fraternity (he is social chair and of course he will enjoy it too….) to Florida for fall break. So I said toward the end, “So I won’t see you til Thanksgiving?” “ No Mom, You won’t” (like don’t ruin it, we just had a great conversation…). These transitions are hard. Real hard. But our kids have to go define themselves. Thanks so much for commenting by the way. Comments really help me know what people are liking and responding to. Good luck on your journey. We shall do it together.

  6. I’ve been strugglikng for the past two years to accept my children moved out and don’t need me around, struggling with not hearing from them for weeks on end, getting the odd facebook hello, Feeling so sad that my time with them has gone forever in the way that it was and struggling with the realisation that they are grown up. Having said that, I gave them the confidence to move out and be independant men, they know that i am there for them if they ever need me and I’m learning and accepting that i now have to get to know these new men that they are. Your comment about the tomatoes struck a chord with me when my son proudly invited me over for dinner (2 years after he moved out this was the first invitation) and it was at that moment I realised he was no longer my teenage son but a grown man with his own life – AND HE LIKES VEGETABLES! Whilst the sadness is easing I’m embracing my new chapter in my life and forever hopeful that my sons will include more often in their lives as they get older.
    Thanks for the great post, advice and for helping me realise i’m not alone
    Janine

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