5 Dangerous Myths About Suicide Prevention You Can Stop Believing

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger of suicide, call 911 or your local emergency number. In the United States, call or text 988 for free, confidential support. Outside the United States, use this international directory of crisis lines to find help where you live.

The first article in this two-part series covered five myths that can keep you from recognizing suicide risk. But recognizing risk is only one part of suicide prevention. You also need to know how to respond.

You may be frightened that you’ll say the wrong thing, make matters worse or assume responsibility for something you can’t control. That fear is understandable, but it can also lead you to avoid the conversation entirely.

Here are the second set of five dangerous myths you can stop believing, including one of the most widespread misconceptions about suicide.

 

Myth 6: People who die by suicide are selfish or taking the easy way out

This myth badly misunderstands the suicidal mind.

When you’re in a suicidal state, you aren’t choosing death because you don’t care about other people. You’re trying to end suffering that has begun to feel permanent and inescapable. Your thinking may become severely constricted. You can’t see alternatives, can’t imagine the pain changing and may even believe, tragically and inaccurately, that the people you love would be better off without you.

That doesn’t erase the devastating impact of suicide on those left behind. It does mean that condemnation isn’t an accurate or useful way to understand what happened.

Myth 7: Asking about suicide will put the idea in someone’s head

This may be the most dangerous myth of all. Asking someone directly about suicide doesn’t create suicidal thoughts or increase the risk of an attempt. Instead, your question can give that person permission to tell the truth and open a path to help.

You don’t need perfect words. You can say:

“I know that sometimes someone going through what you’re going through, they think about suicide. Is that something you feel?”

If the answer is yes, stay calm. Listen without lecturing, debating or acting shocked. Encourage them to consider therapy or help them find a professional to talk with. Of course, their age matters and if it’s a child or teenager, you need to gently but assertively talk with them about how they need let the trusted adults in their lives know what’s going on. Don’t promise to keep it secret. If an adult, help them connect with professional or emergency support and, when possible, stay present while that connection is made. If the danger seems immediate, call emergency services and don’t leave the person alone.

Talking openly and matter-of-factly about suicidal thinking can help someone realize that they matter – that their pain matters. Silence doesn’t protect people; connection can.

Myth 8: If you’re determined to die, nothing can stop you

If you’re suicidal, you may feel deeply ambivalent. Part of you may want to die, while another part desperately wants someone to recognize your pain and help you find another way through it.

Suicidal crises can be short-lived even when the problems surrounding you aren’t. Delaying action, creating distance from lethal means, involving another person and getting immediate crisis support can save your life during the most dangerous period.

The phrase “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” can sound overly simple when some people’s problems are chronic and profound. A more accurate point is this: The intensity of the crisis can change, even when the circumstances don’t change quickly. You need the chance to survive that moment and reach the possibility of something different.

Myth 9: Teenagers are at the greatest risk

Suicide is a serious concern among adolescents and young adults, and it remains one of the leading causes of death in younger age groups. But that doesn’t mean teenagers have the highest suicide rate.

Current CDC data show that suicide risk varies considerably by age, sex, race and ethnicity, and other factors. In 2024, adults age 80 and older had the highest suicide rate, and the suicide rate among males was nearly four times the rate among females.

The broader lesson is that you shouldn’t allow concern for one group to make other vulnerable people invisible. Older adults, middle-aged adults, veterans, people facing serious illness or disability and people experiencing isolation or major loss may also be at significant risk.

Myth 10: Young children can’t be suicidal

It’s painful to imagine, but children under 12 can experience suicidal thoughts and behaviors. A young child’s understanding of death may differ from an adult’s, yet statements such as “I want to die” or “I want to kill myself” should never be dismissed as something the child is too young to mean.

If a child says something like this, respond calmly, ask what the child means and seek an evaluation from a qualified mental health professional. Punishing, shaming or reacting with panic may teach a child to hide those feelings from you.

Schools also need a thoughtful response after a student dies by suicide. A large, dramatic assembly may unintentionally sensationalize the death or increase identification with it among vulnerable students. Expert guidance instead emphasizes coordinated communication, accurate information, access to support and more focused help for the students most affected. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers resources to help schools respond after a suicide.

Perfectionism can hide profound distress

One risk that deserves special attention is socially-prescribed perfectionism. That’s the belief that you must be flawless and exceed any and all of the expectations that others have of you.

Gordon Flett, an expert on perfectionism, states that socially-prescribed perfectionism is like being on a treadmill, yet having no control over its speed or the incline. And this kind of pressure can lead to suicidal thinking.

It can seem the only way to get off that treadmill.

If that’s you, please hear this: You don’t have to become visibly dysfunctional before your pain deserves attention. You don’t have to prove that things are bad enough. And you don’t have to solve everything before telling someone the truth.

What helps most is taking someone seriously

You can’t predict every suicide or prevent every tragedy. But you can take talk of suicide seriously without becoming frantic or punitive. You can resist easy assumptions about who’s at risk. And you can help someone reach trained support when that person’s ability to imagine a future has temporarily disappeared.

If you’re worried about someone, be direct. If you’re the one struggling, tell someone, even if part of you insists that you shouldn’t need help or that no one can understand.

Reaching out helps. And you’re worth reaching for.

In the United States, call or text 988 for free, confidential support 24 hours a day. If there’s immediate physical danger, call 911.

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