Today we’re going to talk about the fairly sticky subject of the difference between expectations, demand, and setting boundaries. What do you do when you feel disappointed by others? Do you isolate or judge? Do you get mad or sulk? Could it be that your very expectations are the problem? Is it different to voice your expectations than it is to secretly have them? Or is that playing a game that the other person doesn’t know you’re playing? And how do boundaries fit in here? We’ll ask lots of questions and hopefully reach some answers today on SelfWork.
The listener email for today is from a young 21 year-old who feels tremendous loyalty to her family and feels “needed” by them. But she also feels very stuck and admits she can hold onto a victim mentality. She’s dealing with enmeshment it sounds like.. and She’s asking how she can take baby steps to start living more independently… Wonderful question and I’ll do my best to give her some ideas. What would you say?
So, in this episode sponsored by the fantastic Athletic Greens, please, sit back and relax… let’s focus on expectations, demands, and boundaries.
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Important Links:
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Episode 168 on setting boundaries
Episode 148 on conditional love
You can hear more relationship advice and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then clickhere and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And here’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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