We’re killing two birds with one stone on this episode of SelfWork, one again sponsored by BetterHelp. I talk about a recent Ted Radio Hour interview I heard with A.J. Jacobs. He’s the author of the recent new book Thanks A Thousand. He did a fascinating and arduous life study of how to make himself happier – and wondered if expressing gratitude would get him there. What did he do? He chased down everyone that even had a minuscule amount of responsibility for providing his morning cup of coffee – and thanked them.

He was using – whether he knew it or not – the “as if” method that can be very effective in therapy to move toward changing your behavior. You basically make choices “as if” you already had the trait you’re trying to learn – or try on for size. You act “as if” you believed in yourself. You act “as if” you’re relaxed or not anxious. And lo and behold, your actions lead you to feel like you do believe in yourself or you’re not so anxious. It’s a matter of focus.

The listener email this week is from a woman who states concern over someone whose lost a parent that they were enmeshed with, but have never recognized the enmeshment. And now that parent is gone. How can she help and what can she expect?

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

A.J. Jacobs episode of The Ted Radio Hour

Dr. Margaret’s blogpost on enmeshment.

Psych Central Article by Sharon Martin on traits of enmeshment

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Photo by Baraa jalahej from Pexels.





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