“I want this over!!”  is being shouted from the rooftops by many after this round of holidays held little release from the sacrifices we are all making. But pandemic fatigue can easily morph into pandemic burnout, meaning that whatever skills you’d been using to dig a little deeper or find some laughter or hope – those skills are maxed out . It’s too easy to take frustration out on the person who’s your pandemic partner. And the three facets of burnout – excessive fatigue, detachment and cynicism, and a feeling of lack of accomplishment – can too easily be focused on your relationship. So in this episode of SelfWork, sponsored by BetterHelp, we’ll also focus on four considerations that might help you realize that the pandemic is dramatizing what are fairly normal facets of long relationships.

What are these four considerations?

  1. Realize the problem could lie with you as you might’ve become clinically depressed.
  2. Be aware of how others might be negatively impacting how you think about your partner.
  3. Consider which of your disappointments in your partner are tied in with things you love about them. You don’t get one without the other.
  4. Recognize that you might not be “in sync” with one another, living almost parallel lives, and try to listen and respond more kindly and lovingly.

The listener email is from a mom who’s confused about her children saying she’s coming across as needy when she feels all she’s doing is letting them all know she’s thinking of them and praying for them. So I’ll answer her as best I can – and you can decide what you think as well!

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

. An article in EveryDay Health talks about pandemic fatigue

Find out how pandemic burnout is defined in this article in New Scientist

Article on Intimate Partner Violence and how the pandemic has affecting hotline use

From Mom to Me Again: Wonderful book on managing empty nest .

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Photo by Jack Sparrow from Pexels.






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