There’s a psychological dynamic called approach/avoidance and it’s when something you desire has both positive and negative implications. But the same words are used in considering relationships, where approach/avoidance (or withdrawal) can lead to a true deadlock and constantly recycle itself, with misunderstanding, grief, hurt and resentment steadily increasing.

You might think of approach as being the more controlling of the two energies, especially if the approach is made in anger. But my observations have been that withdrawal is incredibly potent. So in today’s episode of SelfWork sponsored by BetterHelp, we’re going to talk about that very potency and, as always, what you can do about it.

The listener email for today is from a young woman who read a blog post of mine on perfectly hidden depression (and now has become a listener) and wants to know how to find a therapist. This is probably in the top five of all questions I receive and I’ll answer it today.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

The list of the fifteen most compelling movie “goodbyes”

Article written on the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – defined by Julie and John Gottman, very well-known marriage researchers.

Podcast on finding and interviewing a potential therapist

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Photo by Polina Sirotina from Pexels










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