Kobe Bryant’s family is only one of the many families who have to face an extremely harsh tragedy – the traumatic death of someone they love. There is a difference in this kind of grief from others, because it’s traumatic in the most pure sense. One second your world was safe, known and secure. And the next, it was not — due to an extremely dramatic and out-of-the-ordinary experience that induces grief, shock, disbelief, fear, panic, or terror. There’s not anything you can do about the loss. But there is something you can do, as well as things that are definitely not helpful. So we’ll talk about it today on SelfWork.

The listener email is from someone who asked how she could ever rid herself of a shame she has carried “from birth.” I didn’t understand so reached out to her for more explanation. Her answer as fascinating to me because after her explanation, it was clear to see that the shame didn’t belong to her at all.

Important Links:

A very moving article on the “seven others on board” as people began writing about their lives, as well as their loved ones whose lives have been shattered.

CNN writer Pat Etheridge’s article on how sudden death involves trauma

Definition of trauma by the APA

A wonderful book: “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner

Another helpful read:  Toxic Parents

You can hear more about trauma and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels.