138 SelfWork: The Many Ways to Feel Invisible and How to Find Your Voice

What does it mean to “feel invisible?” Like you don’t matter. You aren’t a vital part of things. You’re being overlooked or seen only for what you can do instead of for who you are. That perception can be part of depression, and that “invisibility” may be imagined or misperceived. But sometimes it’s reality, not irrationality. It’s about feeling like people see right through you and don’t see you.

One of the greatest experiences in therapy is being seen for who you are, “warts and all” as my dad might’ve said. And feeling accepted. Knowing how to create that experience outside of therapy — gathering people around you who you know — know you — is vital for a sense of connection. And we’ll talk about how to do that, one small step at a time. Whether your invisibility is due to cultural influences, childhood experiences or exploitation, we’ll discuss all three. I’ll include lots of links to help. But the answer seems to lie in finding what you actually have control over, making an action plan, and taking small steps to find your voice.

The listener email today is from a woman who’s enjoyed some great couples work with her husband – but sees him withdrawing from dealing with some of his own past.

Important links:

Article on the middle child syndrome

Article on shyness and one on how it’s different from introversion

Article by Deepak Chopra about overcoming cultural stereotypes and invisibility

My own podcast on confronting and changing childhood survival strategies that no longer work.

And a second on recognizing trauma in your life and its effect

Article on the difficulty of leaving abusive relationships

My podcast on two of the manipulative techniques involved in exploitation

My podcast on the difficulty of confronting sexual abuse that occurs in the home

You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!