Do you live by the rule, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going?’ In this podcast, I offer another way of approaching life when it gets tough — an approach that honors both the need to forge ahead when things get hard, but one that won’t lead to emotional and even physical burnout. I got to revisit this issue when I was interviewed by a wonderful writer Rainesford Stauffer this past week. And it got me thinking. What exactly is the difference between self-composure, stoicism and self-destructiveness? What is the healthy response to when the going gets tough?

Along this line, I’ve received criticism from some who’ve read my work on perfectly hidden depression — people who ask,  “Why are you saying that bearing up from your troubles, putting them on the back burner and functioning, is an illness? That’s strength to me.” So we’ll talk about all of this in today’s SelfWork, and I’ll quote an old Sukuma proverb about how a tree that bends will endure the storms that come its way. Too rigid — and it will break.

The listener email for this week is from someone whose mom certainly had symptoms of borderline personality disorder but when she wrote me, questioned whether or not she was at at fault somehow.

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Article by Sarah Wieten, Ph.D.

You can hear more about what to do when the going gets tough — many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s new podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

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My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression will be arriving November 1, 2019 and you can pre-order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!