134 SelfWork: Making A Distrustful Mess with Money and Marriage

Money and the distrust that can be created because of it in a partnership or marriage is what’s on the agenda for today. It’s amazing how many people commit to one another and never touch the subject. We’ll talk about the business of relationships and common problems people run into when they initially establish their financial patterns. I’ll also offer seven ways of how to approach the topic of money well — both spending and saving.  We’ll also touch on what needs to happen when someone’s been secretive, what the listener who wrote in and requested this topic called “financial infidelity.” I’ll quote his email which was quite eloquent and poignant. Whether it’s overspending and debt… or the opposite problem – being overly frugal (or needing control…) and hiding money that your partner didn’t know you had — the problems can be diverse. But they’re all hurtful.

We’ll talk about the regaining of trust: what you can look for that suggests it’s not time to trust again, and what you can see and hear that will help you make the decision to trust again — knowing that trust always involves taking a leap of faith.

The listener email is from someone who identified with perfectly hidden depression but who explains what exactly she’s doing to begin to undo what have been her perfectionistic habits. I thought her explanation was very clear and helpful and asked if I could share – and she said yes!

You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s new podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!