Is therapy really helpful when a relationship is in trouble? And what are the kinds of things you need to realize about therapy that might increase the chances of it being effective? Let’s talk about what’ s important in choosing a couples therapist, but also I’ll offer a roadmap to guide your healing. There are three levels that you can grow more aware of — what you do, what you say, and what you think — basically changing behavior, learning new communication skills, and making sure you’re not operating on a bunch of assumptions and destructive thinking patterns that have become entrenched and habitual. Today we’re looking at the big picture of change within a relationship. It’s hard work, but when it’s effective, it can help create amazing results.

The listener email is from someone who had an affair but chose not to tell his spouse. And now feels terribly guilty and ashamed but is keeping it a secret. What would you do? I’ll offer my best advice..

Important links:

The Four Agreements

You can hear more about therapy and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s new podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!

If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression will be arriving November 1, 2019! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!