101 SelfWork: Coping with SAD, Shame, Grief and Perfectionism During the Holidays

Do you dread the leaves turning color? Did you have a loss during this year that you’re still grieving and the thought of raising a glass to another year makes you sick to your stomach? Are you looking back at last year and berating yourself for pounds not lost, goals not accomplished? Or are you so perfectionistic, that this season is sabotaged by having more things to do, more perfect packages to wrap, perfect meals to prepare, perfect outfits for the kids, perfect deadlines met no matter what your workload?

In Episode 101, we’re discussing the pain of seasonal depression, the pain of grief, the pain of shame, and the pain of perfectionism — all of which can intensely increase during the holidays.

Our listener email today is from a woman who’s divorcing her narcissistic husband, but worries about not being able to protect her young children from his manipulations, like gaslighting.

Important links: Episode 49 talked about balancing grief with honoring holiday rituals.

My post on the deaths of my parents right before the holidays in 2017.

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!