Secrets can be devastating within a relationship. But it’s possible to work through them – with time and lots of effort. Yet what if your partner, who lost your trust for some reason, refuses to talk any more about it? You ask for therapy and they say no. What if the distrust is brushed under the carpet? They say, “It’s over so we just need to move on.”

That’s a bunch of hogwash as we’d say in Arkansas. We’ll briefly revisit the steps of regaining trust, but in this episode we’ll also look at what to do if your partner refuses to understand the impact of their secret on you. Whether it was an affair, a financial secret or an addiction, this episode outlines some ideas about what you need to do to take care of yourself.

The listener email today is from someone who identifies with Perfectly Hidden Depression, but also appears to act as an enabler in her relationships with an emotionally and verbally abusive husband.


You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!



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