Secrets can be devastating within a relationship. But it’s possible to work through them – with time and lots of effort. Yet what if your partner, who lost your trust for some reason, refuses to talk any more about it? You ask for therapy and they say no. What if the distrust is brushed under the carpet? They say, “It’s over so we just need to move on.”

That’s a bunch of hogwash as we’d say in Arkansas. We’ll briefly revisit the steps of regaining trust, but in this episode we’ll also look at what to do if your partner refuses to understand the impact of their secret on you. Whether it was an affair, a financial secret or an addiction, this episode outlines some ideas about what you need to do to take care of yourself.

The listener email today is from someone who identifies with Perfectly Hidden Depression, but also appears to act as an enabler in her relationships with an emotionally and verbally abusive husband.

If your relationship has survived a secret or simply what life brings, click here for “Marriage Is Not For Chickens,” the gift book by Dr. Margaret! You can thank the person you love with this perfect holiday surprise.

You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s new podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly posts as well as her podcasts, plus Dr. Margaret’s eBook, “Seven Commandments of Good Therapy.”