I’ll be talking about borderline personality disorder today and of the exhaustion and guilt that someone who’s trying to love then can feel. You’ll rarely if ever be enough due to their immense and irrational fears of abandonment. I’ll offer nine ways to try to ease that guilt — it’s hard work but boundaries and strict communication guidelines can work — with practice.

The listener email today is from someone whose whole life has been focused on others and she struggling to know, in retirement, about how to set goals for herself.

Important links:

For a full list of symptoms and behaviors of BPD, click here.

The different  “types” of BPD.

An explanation of a highly recommended treatment technique, DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

If you’re in relationship with someone with borderline traits, books like Stop Walking on Eggshells and I Hate You Don’t Leave Me. 


You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!



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