069 SelfWork: The Victim-Savior Relationship. How You Get In It and How You Get Out Of It

We’re going to be talking about healthy and not so healthy relationships today. Many relationships get their start with one person “saving” another. These are boundary-less relationship and they’re doomed for trouble. The victim gets tired of being the victim. The savior gets tired of not being appreciated for saving.  Mark Manson, a blogger with a huge following, talks about it in his recent book, “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k. Perhaps without knowing it, he’s discussing roles in relationships of victim, hero and persecutor, known as The Karpman Drama Triangle. We’ll also touch on what happens when you try to change this dynamic, and how you can recognize the roles you play.

The listener email today is about Podcast 061. She’d done the self-esteem exercise, and ended putting herself down for the results. We’ll discuss!

Important links:

“The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck

Karpman Drama Triangle

An article I recently wrote on the difference between PHD and healthy coping. 

 
You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!