2 Comments

  1. I love your topics,they go so much more beyond the usual self help platforms available…Enmeshment-something that took me many,many years to realize and break away from my mother five years ago.The guilt went very deep and I found myself taking responsibility from a very young age for her (my father was an abusive alcoholic,she was co-dependent).I also found myself taking responsibility for my sister’s children too,as she struggled with her own problems.I felt without me they wouldn’t cope.It was exhausting and stopped me living my life.Breaking away difficult : I was ostracized by the family.After years of therapy I am finally free from the guilt,shame and anger, and my husband and I are enjoying a more equal,adult relationship.He stood by me all these years while I struggled with all the responsibilities I took on that weren’t mine to take.Now I just take responsibility for me.It feels fantastic and very liberating.

    1. First thank you for your kind words. That’s exactly my intent so it’s gratifying to hear. And your story is right on in my experience. Enmeshment can be very difficult to see and rarely is “permission” given by the parent who is needy for the now adult child to live their own life. It can be a dynamic with many types of parents, including people with borderline personality disorder. In your case, your mom wasn’t handling her own life well, and counted on you to be there for her. And you learned your task too well. I’m so glad you found your way out of that trap and are happy now. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. Thanks again for letting me know and telling your truth.

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