How much do you hide about yourself because you fear the judgment of others, and perhaps rejection based on that judgment? We probably all do from time to time. I’ll share some of my own story, and one of the surprising gifts of being a therapist. We’ll also define two beliefs that are required for you to reduce your fear of judgment, beliefs that can replace fear with acceptance.

Today’s email from a listener covers the painful topic of discovering your partner has a sexual addiction. What do you do? Where can you turn for help?

Important Links:

Patrick Carnes’ classic book: Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction.

My own piece on healing from an affair on the Gottman Blog.




You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!


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